IT ISN'T ALWAYS GRACEFUL, BUT IT'S MY JOURNEY

I wouldn't say I was dealing with DIABETES BURNOUT (see HERE).

It was just that my Uncle who has been living with Type 1 Diabetes for 50 years was scheduled for a quadruple bi-pass the next day...and a friend from high school's daughter was just diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes...and from out of no where, my blood sugar was in the upper 300's and no amount of insulin would bring it down.

All of a sudden there was too much Diabetes around me...and Diabetes was making me MAD!

I was MAD for my Uncle's sake.

I was MAD for this 6 year old girl's interrupted childhood.

I was MAD at Diabetes.

I try to not let Diabetes dictate me emotions. I like to think that I'm in control of everything around me and that I can calmly and rationally react and decide my feelings before I actually feel and express them. I often downplay Diabetes for the world watching, acting like Diabetes is no big deal.

But every now and then I feel a bit defeated. For a few moments I say, "OK, Diabetes, you win!"
And then I cry...a lot.

Diabetes is planning 24/7, fists clenched and held up high, ready to punch and jab and anticipate the ugly blood sugar's next moves and twists and turns. It doesn't ALWAYS FEEL like I'm fighting and holding my breathe...but on occasions ...it all piles up.

After I cry for a little bit and have myself a good pity-party, I brush myself off and remember that tomorrow is always a brand new day... a fresh start...a new opportunity for great blood sugar control.

Life with Diabetes is definitely a marathon, a journey that is best taken moment by moment.

My boss emailed our team this quote a while back. I don't know who the original author is, but I have it posted at my desk and read it often, helping me put life with Diabetes in perspective:

no matter how rough the road, may it be a graceful journey.
may acceptance bring peace to circumstances beyond our control.
may we find more strength than we realized.
may the simple things inspire the most joy.
may love be all that matters.
may gratitude empower our spirits and may faith help us overcome.

{source}

DETOX WEEK 3 RECAP

It's been a while since I've given my Detox Week 2 Recap.
I ended up having so many leftovers after week 2 that menus kinda blurred together during the following weeks.
Although this would be week 6 since starting THE CLEANSE, I'm really just starting to eat meals from week 4, and begin my transition out.

WHAT MEALS DID I LOVE FROM WEEK 3?


{Pineapple Rosemary Detox Smoothie}

 I continued sticking with smoothies for breakfast and even tried a few new ones I found online like the one above.



{Kale, White Bean, Potato Stew}

 As usual, I've loved the soups and stews. This one was so hearty and tasty. There are still 3 soups I have not made...but will definitely be trying before the warm spring weather arrives (although for Chicago Winters...it's felt like spring these past few months) I'm not complaining!!!

{Shiitakes and Brown Rice en Papillote}

This was a wonderful dish I will be making again. It was simple and easy to make, AND tasted great!

{Chickpea-Brown Rice Veggie Burger}

It would be hard to narrow down my absolute favorite recipe from this detox...but this burger would definitely be in the running. I was amazed at how easy it was to make my own veggie burger...and even more amazed at how great this tasted! I will DEFINITELY make this again.

WHAT HAS THIS DONE FOR MY DIABETES?

Ironically enough, the past few weeks have been a little harder on my blood sugar as I've begun transitioning out of the detox. Sure I've cheated here and there and may have eaten a few more pieces of dark chocolate than I should've...but I'm really starting to notice the affects of eating grains on my blood sugar (brown rice, quinoa, etc.).

I still have some more observing and experimenting to do...but against my Dr.'s thoughts, my blood sugar is still doing really well as I eat fruit (especially on an empty stomach first thing in the morning or with some nuts for a morning snack).

NOW WHAT FOR WEEK 4-ISH (WEEK 6)?

I'm going to finish out a few of the transition meals, and then I have another crazy 30 days of experimenting with a different diet/lifestyle I recently came across.

All in all, I'm still amazed at what eating the right foods can do for us, how it can heal certain ailments, and how God made our bodies to do amazing things, (especially when they are fueled and cared for in the right way).

***I encourage you to make small adjustments to your diet/lifestyle where you can. I know for myself, making small changes has really added up and benefited my life over the past 2 years.

There are so many different studies and theories on diets out there that I like the idea of taking 30 days to try something out. If it doesn't make you feel better than you did before, you can always go back to the way things were. I'm excited to jump into the next adventure and will be trying my best to document it here***

Thanks for reading!

DIABETES, EATING DISORDERS, & A SIDE OF SOCIAL ANXIETY

I have to say this 28 day detox/cleanse has been amazing...
and I'll report on that more in detail later.

I knew doing the detox would mean a lot of planning ahead.
Grocery shopping for everything I need, preparing meals in advance, packing snacks and meals for work... so there is no excuse to stray from the plan.

It's been really keeping me on top of my "Diabetes" game.

My numbers have been under the best control they've been in a while.

I'm meticulously counting carbs and trying to be as accurate as I can be

...weighing, measuring, looking up nutrition facts, etc.

This is what striving for excellence in my health looks like.

Yes, it's annoying and time consuming, but the pay off is worth it!

Can I just eat an apple if I feel like it? Sure... but first I need to test my blood sugar and make sure I'm (some-what) in range. Then I need to weigh the apple to see how many ounces it is. Then I have to consult with my book of carbs to see how many carbs are in an apple. This usually involves some sort of math equation to calculate the specific carbs for the apple I'm about to eat. Then by the time I've finally figured all of that out, sometimes I'm just craving a pear instead! (re-start calculations)

It really is a wonder Diabetes and eating disorders don't come hand in hand. I'm not poking fun of the situation. Eating disorders are very serious. It's just that with all the time us Diabetics are required to think about food and what it's doing to our bodies, I legitimately am wondering what percentage of Diabetics develop eating disorders.

And then what about eating out... in public, with friends, with strangers? Thanks to technology today, I can quickly look up carbs on my phone if we're out eating Lou Malnatis pizza. But what about when at a dinner party somewhere? Would it be awkward to pull a measuring cup out of my pocket as the mashed potatoes and gravy are being passed around? My family wouldn't bat an eye, but people I've just met for the first time?

And what if I underestimate the carb count? Overestimate the carb count? Too much insulin? Too little insulin? Feeling awful with high blood sugar later...or coming close to passing out from low blood sugar by the time dessert is being served.

You might as well throw a side of social anxiety into the mix now that I'm dealing with diabetes and food issues!!!

But like I said, it's been well worth the work to be feeling good, strong, and healthy, and to be at the start of 2012 with optomism and hope for the healthiest year yet!

DIABETES ART DAY

We have the day off of work and we're not even 1 mile into our walk along
Lake Michigan on a hot Summer day when I begin to feel a little weak.
"Do you mind if I stop and test?"
"Go for it!" he says, pulling to the side of the path as I reach for my machine.

Lower than I'd like to be, I pop some fruit snacks in my mouth and we continue on.
I know he'd rather be running full speed for the next 5 miles, but he slows down the pace,
knowing all I can think about is dropping blood sugar.

Dinner is finally ready and I'm certain he's famished after a long, hard day of work.
A quick test before sitting down with him and a high # confirms it.
That familiar/awful/nauseous feeling means dinner will have to wait for me.
I know he's hungry, but he decides to wait until I'm low enough to eat.
...sometimes the wait ends up being a few hours.

And just when things are getting hot and heavy, you know... like in the middle of a game of checkers.
I'm not sure if I'm high or low, but I know somethings not right.
He doesn't hesitate when I ask the all too familiar question:
"Do you mind if I test?"
"Not at all! Go for it!"

High? Insulin.
Low? Juice.
In range? Game back on!

Blood sugar can really interrupt our lives, but one thing Derek has made clear, whether by his words or actions... we're in this {journey w/Diabetes} together!

I went with photography this year for the 2nd Annual Diabetes Art Day.



Yes, that's real blood (on my fingertip). I was 189 when this picture was taken!

 Diabetes sure has it's ups and downs, highs and lows
... but it's good to know we're in this together.

And for the days when there are no highs and no lows to battle,
you simply have to celebrate!
...perhaps with a game of checkers?!
Game on!!!

RUN {JEN-NAY} RUN!!! (say it like forrest gump would say it)

It's not always about working out the right muscle...

It's mostly about finding the workout machine that holds all of my annoying diabetes paraphernalia stuff!!!

I'm back in the swing of things with working out.
M-W-F = Ballet/Strength Training
T-H-St = Running/Cardio
{And fitting some yoga in when I can.}

It's definitely a lesson in patience and trial and error
...and I now remember why I stopped working out for a few years!!!


{source}


When asked what I'd do if I didn't have Diabetes, most people would guess that I'd eat desserts, pizza, pasta, (foods that are not always kind/easy on the blood sugar) all day long.

In fact, I'd almost do the opposite.

I'd wake up and go for a run.
I wouldn't have to check my blood sugar.
I wouldn't have to meticulously plan out the next 6 hours leading up to a workout.
I wouldn't have to carefully calculate carbs or stalk my blood sugar leading up to the time of exercise.

I would just run...

{source}

I'd run as the sun came up.


{source}

  I'd run up mountains.
(not having to looking at my CGM every 5 minutes to see what direction my blood sugar was heading).

{source}

I'd run as carefree as a child.



{source}

 I'd run until the sun went down.


{source}

 Then I'd run home and do nothing.
I wouldn't have to check my blood sugar.
I wouldn't have to correct with insulin if high.
I wouldn't have to swig juice and glucose tablets if low.
I wouldn't have to wake myself up in the middle of the night,
wondering how exercising is affecting my blood sugar 8 hours later.

I would just sit and do nothing.



{source}

 Ok...then I'd eat an entire pan of tiramisu!!!

THE PASSING OF A LEGEND...

(source)

























When I was a little girl,
I went to a signing around Christmas time.
He autographed a picture and I gave him a box of sugar-free candy canes.
I was nervous to meet him,
but excited that we had Diabetes in common.

Whenever games were on cable,
Derek and I would listen on the radio
and crack up at his enthusiastic commentary.
Most times when the games were on TV,
we'd still listen on the radio, just to hear him.

And this morning I teared up,
listening to the news reporters
speak so highly of a great legend who passed away
... Ron Santo.


(source)















One of the greatest 3rd basemen to play for the Cubs.
The greatest Cubs fan there ever was.
The heart and soul of the Chicago Cubs.

It's always exciting to see or hear about an athlete with Diabetes.
It's hard enough dealing with wacky blood sugars during a 30 minute run,
or an hour long yoga class.

So, my respect and admiration go out to
athletes with Diabetes who put their bodies through
discipline and physical training
year round, for a living.



(source)

























Ron Santo was quiet about having Diabetes during the years he played.
Back in the 70's he gauged his blood sugar levels based on his moods.
If he felt he was going low, he would eat a candy bar during a game!
He ended up getting both legs amputated due to Diabetes complications.
We've sure come a long way!

The world definitely knows the triumphs and struggles Santo had with Diabetes
as he's played such a big part in raising money, awareness, & research
with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF).

It's been a while since I've done a Ron Santo Diabetes Walk-a-thon.
I think I'll do that this year.



(source)

















Come on Cubbies,
let's win it this year for Ron Santo...
A great man and legend who will be missed by all!




(source)



FRESH & HEALTHY

I've heard the advice that you should never go grocery shopping when hungry.
But I'm stronger than that!
I've got will-power!

...apparently not today!

An early lunch just didn't cut it today and while I was grocery shopping on my break, picking up a few last minute things for our upcoming trip to New York, I saw an item
I just HAD to get.

And so in addition to our healthy dinner of Tilapia, Organic Brown Rice, and Edemame, we will also we dining on a side of...

battered, breaded, deep fried, Buffalo-Style popcorn shrimp!!!

(An item that will do wonderful things for my blood sugar shorty after consuming!!!).

Ya know, the good stuff with ingredients like Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Modified Food Starch, Maltodextrin, Sodium Tripolyphosphate, and Sodium Bisulfite.

What?! Don't judge! The last 2 ingredients are simply to "retain moisture" and are added "as a preservative".

I guess there's always tomorrow to start fresh and healthy!!!

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP

"Looks like things are really looking up".
A phrase often said when things go from bad to good (or at least, better).

For me this possitive phrase had quite a different meaning the other morning.

My normal routine is to wake up at 5:45am, stumble into the kitchen to grab a protein cookie, stumble into the front room to read my Bible (while eating my protein cookie), and stumble back into the bedroom by 6:20am to wake up Derek.

(+)

I've found that the protein cookie is the ONLY thing that I can eat for breakfast that doesn't make my blood sugars spike shortly after...which then comes plumeting down an hour later. I've tried EVERYTHING...eggs, fruit, yogurt, cereal.

Derek had the day off, so I decided to let myself sleep in a little bit longer, ignoring the 5:45am alarm, and slowly rolling out of bed shortly after 6:20am.

I definitely ran at a bit of a slower pace as the intense heat was making me so lethargic. AND I spent most of the morning wiping away the sweat that was literally dripping off of my face.

I only had time to grab a granola bar on my way out to the car.
Quaker Oats.
Chocolate Chip.
17 grams of carbs.
2.1 units of insulin
...and I was off to work.

(+)

Looked down at my pump (which communicates with my CGM...continuous glucose monitor) shortly after getting to work...and things surely seemed to be looking up...

Oh come on! 246??? Double arrow up? (which means my blood sugarwas increasing quickly, by at least 40 in the last 20 minutes)

But never fear...a little bit of insulin and shortly, things were looking up...well, actually (literally) down...which was a good thing... so I was looking Up.